Change . . .

I read a blog post this morning and it couldnt have been more perfect. I have been wanting to write for awhile but everytime I tried I ended up with a blank screen. I've been thinking alot lately. This sense of unfullfillment. This sense of running a race I can't seem to keep up with. This sense of being surrounded by everything I could ever want and still feeling bored. Why? I love my husband, I love my kids, we have enough money to pay our bills, our families are great, we have everything we need. So where's the problem. I feel uninspired. I feel black and white. I feel like even if I bought a new house, with new furniture and decorated it like a Pinterest house, and if I had enough money to buy designer clothes and shop at fancy stores, that I would still feel like its not enough. And truth is, it wouldn't be.  Not in this world. Not here, where there's always something better, something more. And you know what the truth is, I don't want to buy new furniture for a fancy house. I don't want to spend $60 on shoes for my toddler. I don't want to give a shit about if my living room looks Pinterest worthy. I don't want my kids to think life is about the newest iPhone, coolest clothes, fanciest houses, newest cars, private schools, playing 5 sports. I know the weight of that. I want them to get dirty. I want them to explore. I want them to be inspired by their surroundings. I want them to not notice the clothes, houses. . . stuff. I want them to see a mom and dad who aren't distracted by their phones. Who don't work to support their house and cars. Who aren't scared to let them play outside because they know all their neighbors. I just can't shake the feeling like we're doing it wrong. I feel like we will get to the end of this journey with nothing to show for it but a fancy phone, kids who care more about stuff than experiences and a house that stresses us out trying to pay for it. And for what? For what. I need a change. My kids need a change. How are we going to do it? I have NO idea. But we are.