Ten Things . . . .

Ten Things I'll Miss About Emery:

- How she says the word "yeah"

- Her face when you tell her to close her eyes, and open them 

- Her climbing in my lap and cuddling

- Her needing her "babke" ( blankie ) everywhere.

- How she jumps on the tramp and falls on her bum- cutest ever

- How we give kisses, eskimos,butterflies and loves

- Watching her walk upstairs with her blankie and sippy to go "nigh nigh"

- How much she loves Frozen and listening to her sing

- Her little hugs

- How she still misses me when I leave

Ten Things I'll Miss About Shayla

- Her excitement about losing teeth, Santa, and the Easter Bunny

- Her innocence

- How sweet she is when she knows someone is hurting or sad

- Listening to her learn to read and sound out words

- Her waking up at night and wanting to lay with me

- Watching her be independant and not need me as much

- Her yelling Mommy! When she sees me after a long time apart.

- Watching her dance around the living room, and stand on her head everywhere!

- Listening to her play with her toys- the conversations she makes up

- Her positive outlook on life and how simple it appears through her eyes.

Birthdays and a Reminder . .

Shayla turned 6 last week and we had a fun birthday party with her friends and then went to the zoo on her actual birthday. It was really fun and I can't believe my baby is 6!!!!! We are doing much better than a few weeks ago and getting along better and we have a good system down of her earning some money  which she is all about lately! 

This past weekend we went on a little boating trip to Yuba with Korbs family and some friends. It was fun even through the sand and wind! Shayla loves going out and playing in the sand and going on the boat! Emery loved it too, and even though she had a hard time sleeping and we all came home sore, tierd, and ornery- we had FUN! Well we were gone I didn't check my phone at all really except for once on Saturday, and when I did I got some horrible news that a friend of mine from my Mops group at church, had just lost her 2 year old daughter suddenly. It is heartbreaking. I just ache for her and their family and friends. It was such a reminder of how life is never guaranteed and again how much more present and relaxed I need to be with my kiddos and everyone I love in general. I pray my friends find some comfort and peace in such a difficult time. 

Go hug your littles tight today and be present! 

June Scan DONE! . . .

We went for Emerys scans on Monday. The day started out early- and she was already fussy and cranky. I knew this appointment was not going to go as smooth as our last one did! I was right! She was so unhappy the whole time. Our tech did the ultrasound and then the radiologist came in to review it with us. He said her liver cyst seems unchanged which is good, and then spent alot of time looking at her right kidney. He then asked us to re-scan her kidneys so he could get more pictures. So back on the table she goes- more upset now then before because she thought she was done haha- poor girl! After a few minutes he came to the conclusion that it looks like a spot/area of calcification on her kidney, but that we will watch it closely. Kind of weird. But we will just watch it and I'm sure it will all be fine. Then we head over to get the blood drawn and as usual she was SUPER ticked. I feel bad because I always make Korb take her in and hold her, it's just to hard for me I hate it! Poor guy. It doesn't take long at all but it's a pretty miserable couple minutes! We got the results today and they were back down so that's good news! All done until September! 

Since Shayla has been out of school we have had a really time with each other. I wish I could say we've just had all this fun and loved spending time together, but no. We are SO much alike and we just clash so much. It's a power struggle constantly, and she has always been a highly sensitive child to EVERYTHING. She doesn't handle change well. ( hell neither do I! ) She needs constant attention and entertainment and i cant provide that all day long! We have spent most of our days with arguing, getting in trouble, and lots of tears and frustration on both sides. I'm trying to figure out a way to work on this and hope to make some progress SOON. I end most of my days feeling like a big fat failure momma and I'm sure she feels equally crappy. I love her more than anything we just need to figure out a way to manage all this! It's been a stressful couple of weeks! We have her birthday party on Saturday and I know she's really excited! And then next week we are going boating at Yuba for the weekend! Plenty to keep her busy there :) 

Hope all my friends are having a great summer and life is good for you all! 

Content . . .

Man, lately I have just been loving life. I feel like things are just . . good right now. Of course not everything is wonderful but the things that really seem to matter right now are! I'm absolutely loving the age Emery is right now. She's talking more and it's just freaking cute. Shayla is doing awesome in gymnastics and school and she's starting to act so much older especially in little sayings she has. Cracks me up! Me and Korby are awesome and having fun and things just seem easy with us right now ( for those who are married I'm sure you know this is not always the case haha ) Our house is good ( even if I'm not thrilled with the location ) our finances seem ok for now and we have a little extra "spending" money! Again- not always something we have had. I just feel content right now- and I am soaking it in!!!

We went to Lagoon last weekend and had so much fun! I forgot how fun it is there! We have gone to Wheeler Farm, and Tracy Aviary to and I love how cheap they are! Keeping Shayla busy has been hard. She has always needed CONSTANT entertainment and attention- the kid can NOT entertain herself haha. But we're working on it! Plus soon enough she will be in school all day and I know I will miss her! Also she lost both of her bottom teeth in the last two weeks!! So fun for her! We're going to some splash pads this next week and its Shaylas birthday party next Saturday! She is super excited! 

Emery is going on Monday for her scans and blood work! SO glad to get that out of the way until September!!!! Hallelujah! 

So I'm going to keep enjoying this content feeling and the goodness of this moment in time!!! You never know how long those periods of time will last :) 

June and Scanxiety #2. . . .

It's June! Holy crap! Wasn't it just Christmas?! Shaye is officially counting down the days until her birthday party! She's having a beach party! It's so NICE that both my girls have summer birthdays!! 

Also since its June- that means its scan time AGAIN! I'm telling you three months flies by. We have about 9 days until her appointment! Like usual this is about the time I get serious anxiety and really the days leading up to scans I try to stay busy to keep my mind busy- unfortunately this week I have pretty much NOTHING going on. Her last scan came back clear ( other than the radiologist spending a LONG time looking at her right kidney and asking the tech for measurements again and again - talk about nerve racking! ) her AFP blood test came back elevated from the last one so basically we need to see the number back on the downward trend this time. If its increased again or jumped up alot at all, that means a yucky MRI. I am sure it will all be fine and then we can put it all behind us again until September! Keep her in your thoughts and prayers please!